cancer

Money or Laughter

Suppressed.

Things get personal at times. We shift our focus from what truly matters to hating who we are as people.

I remember times where I thought I was going to die. I did not die, but at some point, I wanted to. Today, that feeling has been positively superseded.

Mentally, I felt dead in the head. Life has different phases and within each phase comes a lesson. You will never grow if you stay stuck in your comfort zone.

If I were to describe myself in one word it would be powerful; if you find that cliche then maybe you’re just not going through something difficult in your life. Not being able to express your emotions is one of the biggest sins.

I know times may seem hard. I know that I write and I get lost in my head. Maybe it is life after cancer, or maybe it is just me hating myself for feeling stuck. I have opened up a lot about myself yet in doing so it took away from who I am.

I am far from perfect, but at least I am working on becoming a better person.

You are allowed to judge me on my writing. You are allowed to judge me on my character. You are allowed to think whatever you want to think about me. Just know that you have never stepped foot into my shoes.

You might think that you may know me based off of my old writing or my old pictures. Maybe you even think I have the world at my fingertips. Yes, I traveled the world with life after cancer, but is that happiness? Is happiness measured by material?

The greatest feeling of happiness is making sure that other people are living life with content. Do not get sucked into selling yourself out. Throughout the time you will only get lost in other people’s misery.

We all experience different feelings in life. Happiness, sadness, loneliness, anger… I think by now you are getting the point.

I heard a story one time: there was a guy that shared a house with his wife. They lived a below average life, in a hut that was overseen by the king. Every night, the king would hear laughter, something that pleasantly surprised him.  The next morning, he went to visit the couple and offered them gold. He told them that he has never experienced the same feeling as he did seeing them laugh. The couple did not know what to do. The change from poverty to wealth was a huge difference to there lives. They accepted the offer.

As days passed, their laughter decreased. They were more focused on managing and maintaining the gold, they forgot to enjoy each other’s presence and laugh. Money is a good tool for helping you through life, but money is not everything.

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